I am sick. It started 18 days ago. My sinuses started acting weird, what happens to me when I get dehydrated. But then I got a cough. No big deal. But I kept coughing. And coughing. I've had ear things - throat things - stomach tings... but not the cough thing. This was new. Then it became a full blown sinus infection. I muddled my way through it. How do you know if it's something you have to live through or something you get medicine for? It kept getting worse. So, after three days of feeling close to dead, I went to the doctor. She gave me antibiotics, something to loosen up all the gunk, and drops to help me stop coughing. Well, I think the antibiotics are working, but not the drops. As for the fizzy drink (think Alka-Seltzer - the preferred form of medicine in Italy) that's to loosen up things - well... I guess it's working. It's loosening up so much, I had to sleep sitting up last night, and if you've ever tried it - you know it doesn't count as sleep. If my body relaxed enough for me to slide down my pillows, I'd wake up choking. I've choked before - but while I was awake, which is scary enough. But, when you're asleep - it's petrifying.

This morning it made me think of this man I know who is in a coma... and how they have had to help him breathe. And I ache for him. Because my little cold will pass and I will soon be breathing without even thinking about it. And I wonder if he gets scared. If he feels like he is choking?

And as I have no more energy to cough, I have been thinking about my sister. She doesn't have much muscular strength and she gets such bad colds. And now I understand how scary it is for her.

I have not been sitting around pouring my heart out to God, "Oh! Why did you curse me with this gunk?" ... I really think it's just part of living in a fallen world. But, I'm glad that just for a moment or two, it's helped me have compassion... which in the end makes it all worth it.


Mission Amore said…
Hope you feel better soon, Belle!

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