My heart plays tricks. Sometimes it woos me into believing I am an angel. Good. Righteous. Faithful. Better than I am. And sometimes it tells me that I am stuck in the routine of condemnation for not being able to muster enough goodness, righteousness. That I do not have enough faith.
My heart forgets that it is not up to me… that even though I am not good enough, right enough, faithful enough… I get to jump out of the condemnation line. Yes, that's what I deserve when we're talking about a Holy, Holy, Holy God of perfection. I am nothing. That's the truth, so help me, God.
Which He does. And so, I have to remind my heart – I have to beg God to remind me. Say to my soul, “I am your salvation”. Remind me again that I cannot survive on my own. And then tell me I am not alone. Tell me that you know the secrets of my inadequacies. And then tell me that as far as those inadequacies reach, You reach further still.
Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea.
A great high Priest whose Name is Love
Who ever lives and pleads for me.
My name is graven on His hands,
My name is written on His heart.
I know that while in Heaven He stands
No tongue can bid me thence depart.
When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within,
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end of all my sin.
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free.
For God the just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me.
Behold Him there the risen Lamb,
My perfect spotless righteousness,
The great unchangeable I AM,
The King of glory and of grace,
One in Himself I cannot die.
My soul is purchased by His blood,
My life is hid with Christ on high,
With Christ my Savior and my God!
-Charitie L. Bancroft, 1863
Find "Before the Throne of God I Stand" on your favorite music site.
"Say to my soul, "I am your salvation." - Psalm 35:3