Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

I get to start life over. Not many people do. I get to make new friends. I get to start fresh. I get to build a new home: physically, socially, spiritually, mentally... I will take what I've learned; carry the love of the people who have traveled with me so far. I will go in the strength and wisdom the Lord has provided.
But I don't want the junk to go with me.
I really fought the Lord on making me have such a long in-between time. Nobody likes to be in-between. I didn't want to learn how to live and move and be in America. I wanted to jump from life in Haiti to life in Italy.
But, God chose something different for me. Something better.
So in this transition time, I've asked the Lord for several things. Some seem funny and wouldn't mean much to anyone else; Some are big. He's surprised me. He's delighted me. He's loved me.
One thing I've asked of the Lord is this: that He would show me a mirror of myself... that He would show me the blemishes He wants to remove from my face, from my heart.
It's been hard. And it's been good. I've had to face some things that I didn't want to see. I've had to look myself in the eye and stare until I've been honest with myself.
The Lord is still working. I have a few things that I just don't want to examine. So, all I can do right now is ask the Lord to help me be willing.
I've cried a lot. A Lot. Several times a day as I'm praying or thinking tears just jump into my eyes.
So as I continue to look into the mirror with mascara running everywhere, I think I can almost hear God saying that I'm precious to Him... saying that I'm loved... saying that I am most beautiful when He is working on my soul, when He's bringing me to His heart.


Tara said…
Truely beautiful April. I love how you share you heart. I learn so much from you and it touches my little iowa heart!

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