Friday, March 20, 2009

Dear Juliet,

So how does it feel now that Taylor Swift is singing a song about you? I hear that song on every radio station and on CMT and VH1. It gets in my head!

I've been thinking a lot about you. And since we are going to be neighbors in a few months I just want to share some things that are heavy on my heart.

I know this might be hard to hear, but when your dad doesn't think a guy is right for you - he's pretty much 100% accurate. I know part of the fun of dating someone your dad doesn't like is the fact that your dad doesn't like him. But, no matter what you think -or feel like- and no mater how he communicates or doesn't communicate it, you're dad really wants the very best for you... and he can read guys. He's been one. So, listen to him. And when he tells your guy to stay away, sit down and ask your dad why he's so concerned.

Oh, sneaking away in the garden? Very dangerous and fun! But then again, it's not the way to build a strong relationship. I know - it's romantic. Sigh... I know. But, the truth is that if you want to really see what kind of guy he is, you need to be with him in public. How does he treat strangers? How does he joke with friends? What is he like with his family? ... with yours? Marriages aren't lived in secret gardens. Neither should it be the only backdrop for falling in love.

But this is the thing that worries me the most. Part of the song goes like this:

"I got tired of waiting,Wondering if you were ever comin' around. My faith in you was fading When I met you on the outskirts of town, And I said,"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you but you never come. Is this in thy head? I don't know what to think-"

THEN he comes and asks you to marry him. And you say yes. WHAT??? My heart aches for you. I know what it feel like when you're just waiting and wondering. But, here's the truth. You deserve to be chased. If he is leaving you in the dark, he's not crazy about you. And why would you want to spend your life with someone who is not crazy about you? I know a thousand women who have settled and gotten married just so they weren't alone and really regret their choice. Don't be one of them. If he loves you he will not let you be stranded in a sea of he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not. There will be no doubt. Shoot! If he even likes you a little he's going to make sure he knows what you're doing Saturday night. Don't waste your time or your heart. You deserve better. You can get better.

OK... I know... I'm not exactly an expert at this relationship thing. In fact, I'm really, really bad at it. Each of these rules I'm sharing come with a guy's name. Or a couple of guys' names. Well, a really long list of names on that third one. Which means, I am great at choosing The Wrong Guy. Really great at that. So maybe I am an expert.

Anyway... I just don't want you to have your heart broken. I want the best for you. I want you to wait for the guy your parents love. The one that's kind and gentle to people. The one that's head-over-heals for you. What you're choosing today is going to determine what kind of Love Story you're going to live for the rest of your life.

I'm here if you need to talk - or to cry - or to eat chocolate and watch sappy movies. See you soon...
april

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